i have never been in love so i have no idea what it’s like to fall in and out of love, keep living, fall in and out of love again, and then make your way towards falling, again, into something that looks like love. i will still love you no matter how many notches on your bedpost, no matter how many scars on your heart. but i don’t want my words to be cheapened by past insincerity, i don’t want to be compared to a former love. i don’t want to be the bandaid covering old wounds. if i help heal you, that’s okay, because that’s what i’m here for, that’s what we’re here for. but i want you to love me and not the ghosts behind me that you can’t take hold of, i want you to hold me and think of me and only me, rather than the fact that you’re lucky to have someone almost but not quite as good as the ones that left you. i don’t know if i’m as good as the ones that left you and maybe i don’t want to know that truth. i’m trying my best to focus on the present but i KNOW that the past still exists within you and when it exists within you it exists within me too. i want you and you alone and i know you are shaped by loves found and lost and that’s okay, i love you for whatever shape you’ve been formed into, but i don’t want to be loving you in a way that simply fills the space left by others. i am not here to fill some space in your heart. i am not here to fill some space in your heart. i am here for you and i hope you are here for me. please be here for me. please be here for me.